Our Approach to Couples' Therapy: The Gottman Method
At our practice, we specialize in helping couples build stronger, healthier relationships using the Gottman Method. Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this approach is grounded in over four decades of research and has proven effective for couples at every stage of their relationship.
What is the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method focuses on fostering respect, affection, and closeness between partners. It involves structured, goal-oriented interventions designed to increase understanding, improve communication, and promote intimacy. Central to this method is the development of key relational skills, such as managing conflict constructively, enhancing emotional connections, and building shared meaning in your relationship.
Key Components of the Gottman Method
1. Assessment: Our work begins with a thorough assessment of your relationship. This involves both partners completing questionnaires and participating in joint sessions to discuss your relationship's strengths and areas for growth.
2. Sound Relationship House Theory: We utilize the Sound Relationship House Theory to guide our work. This framework consists of seven levels, starting with building love maps and moving up to creating shared meaning. Each level focuses on critical aspects of a healthy relationship, such as trust, commitment, and positive interactions.
3. The Four Horsemen: We help couples recognize and combat the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—that often predict relationship breakdowns. Through tailored strategies, we teach you how to replace these destructive behaviors with more effective communication techniques.
4. Love Maps: Understanding your partner's inner world is crucial. We emphasize the importance of love maps, which are mental maps of your partner’s likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears. Strengthening your love maps helps increase intimacy and emotional connection.
5. Conflict Management: Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. We guide you through proven conflict management techniques, helping you navigate disagreements without causing harm. This includes the use of gentle startups, accepting influence, and practicing self-soothing.
6. Enhancing Fondness and Admiration: Building a culture of appreciation and respect is vital. We work on enhancing the fondness and admiration system in your relationship, encouraging you to express gratitude and affection regularly.
7. Turning Towards Instead of Away: Small moments of connection can make a big difference. We teach you to recognize and respond to your partner’s bids for attention, fostering a habit of turning towards each other rather than away.
8. Creating Shared Meaning: Building a life together involves more than just resolving conflicts. We help you create shared rituals, goals, and values that give your relationship deeper meaning and purpose.
What to Expect in Therapy
Our couples' therapy sessions are a mix of joint and individual meetings, allowing for a comprehensive understanding of both partners’ perspectives. We provide practical tools and exercises for you to practice at home, reinforcing the skills learned in sessions.
We believe in empowering couples to become experts in their own relationships. By integrating the principles of the Gottman Method, we aim to help you build a relationship that thrives on mutual respect, deep connection, and shared happiness.
Start your journey towards a stronger, more fulfilling relationship today. Contact us to schedule an initial consultation and learn more about how the Gottman Method can benefit your partnership.